Monday, September 4, 2023

“A living hell”: Disabled People Are Rising From Their Wheelchairs … and They’re Not Happy About It (Satire)

                EPONYMOUS, COLORADO — “Shhh!” says 39-year-old Cy Chevsky, crouching by candlelight with his ear to his front entry door. With wild eyes and wilder hair, he listens for noises from outside. “They’re still there. Yesterday it was Maury Povich.”

“Maury Povich!” I say in surprise.

“Shhh!” Chevsky says, but it’s too late: The paparazzi begin shouting and banging on the storm door. Chevsky covers his ears and yells. “My life now is a living hell.”

A frame d photo on the foyer wall above shows a complete contrast: Chevsky smiling and stylish, sitting arm-in-arm with a beaming young woman and a gray poodle both seated on his lap. His wheelchair from the photo now sits empty in a far corner of the room, no longer needed since the day last April when Chevsky suddenly and unexpectedly rose out of it, never to return.

“It was the BEEP-BEEP-iest day of my life,” he says. “It ruined me.”

Doctors were as baffled as Chevsky was, so he began his own search for the cause of what the Internet was calling a “miracle.” But in the meantime his girlfriend left him over trust issues, his friends became unreachable, and traffic to his websites and social media accounts cratered when he was denounced as a fake.

“I worked for years after my spinal cord injury to build myself back up,” he says, “and while I did, I also built up a brand as a disability influencer. I put in so many hours. I believed in what I was doing — helping others — and it was a revenue stream for us. Now they call me a grifter.” Even his old dog, Muffin, who had cataracts, would growl whenever he stood up. Eventually she ended up spinning around and around in one spot until animal welfare could cart her away for her own safety.

Bewildered, Chevsky flailed around for answers until he was contacted by Dr. Victor Petroculus of Palm Beach, Florida. Petroculus took a particular interest in the outraged headlines coming from the tabloid press, because the same thing had happened to him 15 years earlier. His career as a premier ballet dancer had been cut short by a spinal cord injury he sustained while skiing, but he had successfully pivoted to a second life as a sought-after fundraiser and motivational speaker. Then, like Chevsky, Petroculus, for no known medical reason, spontaneously rose from his wheelchair. “I lost one career to the accident,” he said, “and another when I stood from that miserable chair. … I remember thinking, I have to get the remote.” In a template for what would happen to Chevsky, Petroculus met with rage and ruin. And like Chevsky, he’s none too happy about it. “Worst thing that’s ever happened to me,” Petroculus says, “bar none.”

Petroculus used his contacts from the fundraising world to gather information and look into similar cases he found. He consulted with medical experts and others over five continents. It led to his founding The Research Center for Unwanted Healings, operating in a state-of-the-art ADA-accessible cardboard box in Palm Beach. “We’ve got Wi-Fi,” he says. Work at the center reveals a startling phenomenon: Globally, one to three people with disabilities are healed spontaneously and inexplicably every year. And the cause? “Our best knowledge in the field says it’s from old prayers by third parties. There must be millions of them up there, swirling around like moths.

“Just as well-meaning bystanders sometimes give unwanted help without asking — or too much help,” Petroculus says, “so it’s common for people with disabilities to be prayed over even when it’s not wanted. We’re finding that a small but devastating number of these virulent prayers are circulating for years, decades, maybe even centuries. And occasionally one will find home even after its been long forgotten.” The results, he points out, are devastating.

Mothy prayer says, "I'm coming for you."

In Chevsky’s case, the devastation comes with a frozen Gofundme account, the loss of his disability-based remote job for a government agency, and vandalism on his home, where neighbors did a surprise home-makeover accessibility renovation 13 years before. He may lose his Medicaid benefits too, and that agency further warned in a letter that it could claw back benefits already paid.

Even worse, he says, is his loss of identity. “I don’t know how to do anything,” he says. “So much of my life’s work was oriented toward dealing with my disability. In that realm I was an ace.”

In his darkened home, Chevsky says, “Even my dog left me.” He admits that sometimes, he curls up at night in his old wheelchair. But his whisperings are interrupted by more sharp banging directly on the front door. Chevsky jumps, as intense shards of light penetrate his home from around the edges of the door.

“Cy Chevsky! Mr. Chevsky, I know you’re in there,” says a voice booming through the door. “Mr. Chevsky, it’s Maury Povich! Come on my program, submit to a lie detector test. I’ll make it worth your while. I won’t go away without an answer, Mr. Chevsky. Mr. Chevsky!”