Somebody Make These: Portable Access Blocks

We’re walking past a new development going up next to our neighborhood. Exciting, right? With brand new sidewalks ringing the site. Sweet curb cutouts, with the gripper things on them. Newborn concrete with the crisp, clean edges: I almost start baby-talking to it. “You’re such a cute cutout. You’re going to be so accessible. Yes, you are. Yes, you are.”

What stopped me, literally, was that those adorable curb-cuts on either side of the development’s entrance do not match up with the level of the road. They’re not even close. It's not a bump. It’s a shelf, it's a ledge. It's a No Way, Jose.

I've got to think that when the construction is done and the last big machine has rumbled away, that they’re going to repave the development and make things flush. My town is good about building in new accessibility and retrofitting what’s old. But here I sit. As Nina Simone would say, I want access now.

Enter the Mab, resourceful wife extraordinaire. We spied some sandbags lying around, there to weigh down a couple of iron separators to keep traffic out, after-hours. Because she works out, Mab was able to carry over a pair of bags that looked to be a size and shape we might work with. And work they did — and there they still sit, their radioactive yellow skins visible all the way down the block. Voile, accessibility. I’d show you right here but I still suck about pictures.

Ferne Clyffe State Park

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OK, This story has a happy ending but it illustrates that even with “accessibility” present, there are usually many micro-obstacles and problems to be got around. In recent hikes at beautiful Ferne Clyffe State Park in downstate Goreville, Illinois, featuring the primordial limestone formations of that spirit-filled Shawnee Natl. Forest region, we ran into several of these junior obstacles that were enough to foil me on consecutive days. Loose rocks in the path, and concrete slabs and culverts that over the years have become displaced and inaccessible: things that are easily remedied with the smallest budgetary outlay – a few bags of concrete and to clear away obstacles once a month – and someone who gave a shit. I made a couple of attempts at Rocky Hollow Trail, but despite the help of strangers, and our getting further on each try, I was stopped right before the waterfall because of a smallish ledge to gain the final bridge. #$%^&*, as they say. Or how about paying a frigging camp host on site to make sure the campers aren't hijacking ALL the public water spigots? You’ve already commissioned the infrastructure spending, which is the hard part. Now let's give a crap and do better, Illinois DNR. (And an accessible trail at Starved Rock too, damn it.)

The best part of travel: These rockin' folks ;) cleared away a pile of stones.

Also the best part of travel: scenery (Ferne Clyffe SP).

One more: the Ship (Ferne Clyffe SP).

So, here is my big idea, hatched during this otherwise magical but waterfall-less hike:

A Portable Bag of Access Blocks, in a bag hooked to the back of my chair, featuring  

Blocks of durable lightweight plastic that might snap together, or have rough edges to minimize sliding.

Snapable flat pieces, like the skinny pieces in Legos.

Like so: RV leveling blocks.

Wedges in a couple of different angles and sizes. Must be able to use to get over entryway stoops.

A lightweight foldable ramp?

Larger rectangle risers, like the rectangle Lego blocks? How much room do I have in me bag anyway? Maybe the risers should be collapsible.

We need these! What are your ideas, reader?

So you wanna see the waterfall, huh?

Where's muh access blocks?